Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children (Book Recommendation)

Running on Empty No More has the potential to change the world, one relationship at a time.

I just finished a wonderful book I can’t wait to tell you about called Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children, by Dr Jonice Webb.

Running on Empty No More is an excellent book for anyone seeking healing in their most important relationships. The book is a fitting follow-up to her first book Running On Empty, providing practical strategies for those wondering about next steps in their recovery from Childhood Emotional Neglect. One thing I appreciate about the book is the author’s obvious care and compassion for the reader. She invites the reader to take some difficult steps in repairing relationships while being clear about when those choices could be unhealthy. I found the book refreshing in my personal journey, especially when the concept of forgiveness was addressed. As a parent, I cannot more highly recommend the section on learning to connect with children.

Running on Empty No More has the potential to change the world, one relationship at a time. I plan to share this book with those I love, recommend it to many of my clients, and add it to the addiction recovery program I lead. Whether you’re seeking tools for connecting with a partner, parent, or child, this book is for you.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

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Recovery is a Lifestyle Change (Video)

Recovery is a lifestyle change. Share if you agree.

 

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

 

2018: New Year, New Goals (What Are Yours?)

New year

It’s 2018! Can you believe it? With a new year comes new goals…have you made your 2018 goals yet? If so, I would love to hear them. When it comes to Life After Lust, I’ve created some ambitious yet attainable goals. I expect 2018 to be a year of amazing opportunities and growth. I will work hard to create such a year.

If you’re interested, here are my 2018 writing & business goals:

  1. Produce & publish the Life After Lust Audiobook
  2. Disperse all Audiobook Kickstarter rewards
  3. Create Life After Lust online course or program
  4. Write & publish book #2 (A workbook or Life After Lust Volume 2)
  5. VLOG monthly
  6. Life After Lust Retreat or Intensive
  7. Weekly engagement in the Life After Lust Community Facebook Group
  8. Expand distribution of all formats of Life After Lust
  9. At least one paid speaking opportunity per month (check out the Life After Lust Tour!)
  10. Reach 4,000 copies of Life After Lust in circulation (all formats combined)

As I’ve connected more with myself and watched the impact of Life After Lust, I’ve realized that the career I most want to pursue is that of a writer/author (I will still be a therapist). This year, I plan to move more seriously in that direction. I look forward to sharing more with you as that journey unfolds.

Wishing you success with your most important goals this year.
Happy New Year!
Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Great News: Life After Lust Audiobook Campaign Fully Funded!

Kickstarter a Success!

Friends,
I have Amazing news! The Life After Lust Audiobook Kickstarter was a huge success! Not only was the audiobook fully funded but the goal was significantly exceeded. When it was all said & done, 47 backers came together to fund the project 147%, with $2,794 in pledges!

Isn’t that amazing?!

These funds will allow me to not only produce the audiobook but also create other recovery related resources (I have a workbook and other ideas on the back burner). These contributions will help many, I am certain.

I am so grateful to all of my backers for making this possible. Those who gave now have the opportunity to be in an exclusive Facebook group where they’ll have a behind-the-scenes view into the project as it progresses. If you gave $2+, I hope to see you all there.

If that’s not you, you’ll see the final audiobook product soon enough.

I’ll be honest, about a week into this Kickstarter campaign I was feeling quite discouraged. I sought feedback and did not give up. Now, I’m so glad I kept going. Patience and perseverance paid off. There are so many generous people in my life and I am so grateful.

I look forward to sharing the completed audiobook with you all in the next few months.
Thank you again for your faithful support.

Happy Holidays,

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Author of Life After Lust

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

A Token of My Gratitude: Black Friday Freedom Sale (Life After Lust Audiobook)

Give the Gift of Hope-2

In a spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to offer the following gift to all of you.

For a minimal $10 Kickstarter pledge you will both help us create the Life After Lust Audiobook and reserve YOURSELF a copy ($20 Value)! Offer good through December 15. We are currently 47% funded with 23 days to go. Click here to join this life-changing cause.

Will you invest in the hope of healing this holiday season? Join me in turning this dream into a reality.

Wishing all of my loyal readers a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Gratefully,

Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Book Review: Life After Lust

Book Review_ Life after Lust-2

Life after Lust: Stories & strategies for sex & pornography addiction recovery 

By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP

Reviewed by Darlene Viggiano, Ph.D. (LMFT)

Citation:

Benedict, F. (2017). Life after Lust. CA, Fresno: Visionary Books

ISBN: 0-9984682-1-5

Life after Lust is a self-help, how-to book offering the personal story of a therapist in recovery from sex and pornography addiction, and the strategies he uses to maintain his own sobriety as well as helping others to recover. The book is highly relevant to both recovering and professional readers today due to the current, high profile and widely prevalent issues across the country surrounding porn, infidelity, and sexual intimacy for couples.

Women will be able to use this book, and the language is gender-neutral throughout, including concepts like self-compassion and self-care, such that females will benefit from reading it. However, it does not include women’s perspectives. The book’s strengths and weaknesses include a poignant focus on the attention and care a man must give to himself and his recovery, on the one hand, with insufficient priority to the role of couples’ recovery in this process, on the other.

The book’s primary value, therefore, lies in the systematic help it provides to those who want to gain freedom from lust-bound living on a daily basis. It does not claim to be a couples’ book. However, as a professional with expertise in both sex addiction and trauma, and as a woman who has experienced the effects of male objectification, it would be wonderful to see a companion book that walks the couple through recovery in the same way that this book does so very well for addicts. Fortunately, the book mentions a planned follow-up workbook, called Healing Through Connection, aimed at emphasizing couples’ work.

Benedict’s current thesis is that men can have a fulfilling life, untethered from lust, by developing certain mindsets, mastering particular strategies, and choosing and maintaining a love-based mission, all of which the author demonstrates clearly and succinctly. Perhaps, however, the book is a bit too succinct.  It would be useful to see sample responses to some of the excellent queries the author poses, so that the book does not become a series of hoops through which the recovering person must jump. Overall, though, the author succeeds in demonstrating a strong theme. What follows are examples of how Benedict accomplishes this.

First, Benedict introduces the concept of “prelapse,” warning those in recovery of the dangers of passivity as opposed to vigilance. Second, he delves into the various core beliefs about oneself that hinder a person in recovery. Third, he offers 19 key mindsets a recovering person must develop, as well as a path for building them.

Another strength is that Benedict uses his own journey to light the way for others, a very noble and effective technique. The power of this method is that it forces the author and the reader to deal head-on with the issue of stigma. Benedict uses several worthy metaphors to help himself and readers fight back against stigma, such as “rising from the pit.” Thus, stigma becomes less of an excuse and more of a challenge to face social shame with the honesty that can only arise when addicts have asked themselves, and answered from the soul, the hard questions—such as those about intention to objectify.

The book asks the reader to do a lot of writing, but is not set up as a workbook, which would be a preferred format for this work. It also provides a focus on parts work, such as dealing with the “evil genius” inside the addict. Benedict characterizes this part as the one that uses deceit, euphoric recollection, and malevolent inventiveness or trickery. The author does not spare this inner demon any quarter against inquiry, taking a Socratic method to the task of recovery. He encourages recovering addicts to throw this part “under the bus,” and offers options for meeting needs without meeting defeat.

There is so much more in favor of this book than space will allow.  For example, the book includes a 52-week plan, a significant structural resource for clinicians and clients that makes it useful as part of a recovery curriculum. Suffice it to conclude, however, that Benedict provides a way for addicts to attend to their pain, pollute their fantasies, face reality, and escape from lust to a life repurposed toward love.

 

Posted by Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

Life After Lust Audiobook Announcement & Request for Reward Ideas

LAL Audio

Friends,

I have EXCITING NEWS!

The Life After Lust Audiobook Kickstarter project will begin in about a week! Check out my VLOG Announcement to learn more about the details of this fun project.

Also, I HAVE A REQUEST…I have put together some great rewards for those wishing to contribute to this cause but I really would love to know what rewards you would be interested in. Again, check out the video for further explanation and to learn about some of the awesome rewards that are already planned.

I look forward to sharing this experience with all of you. I also look forward to hearing stories of lives touched and changed as a result of listening to the hopeful message of Life After Lust.

Gratefully,
Forest

PS: To follow this story, I invite you to follow this blog and sign up on the Life After Lust Newsletter

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Fighting Lust with Love: How to Honor, Not Objectify

Fighting Lust with love

Lust is my drug of choice. This has been true for me since adolescence. It helped me cope with life’s challenges but in the end brought many more. Now that I’m in recovery, fighting lust is a daily ideal. Some days are better than others, but I continue to aim for this attainable achievement.

A few days ago I took on a personal challenge, practicing a technique that boosted my ability to fight lust through actively honoring others. I told this story and explained the technique in more detail in my newest VLOG called “Fighting Lust with Love: How to Honor, Not Objectify.”  Click here to watch it and learn more about this powerful tool.

These efforts will all be worth it. As I wrote in my book, “For those ready for recovery, it is time to abandon life under the influence of lust. It is time to lay down our cheap coping mechanisms, taking up strategies that strengthen us. As we leave lust behind, we begin to see ahead the hopeful makings of a new life. We begin to taste the unrivaled satisfaction of life after lust” (Benedict, 2017).

To learn more strategies for battling lust, porn, and sex addiction I invite you to check out my book Life After Lust. Thank you for reading, watching, and joining me in this life-changing adventure.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

How I Made History Today: First Male Guest on Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast

How i made history today_ A podcast interview-2

Today I enjoyed the privilege of being interviewed on the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast. As Anne introduced me, she shared that I was their first male guest in the history of the podcast, an honor I do not take lightly. Our episode will go public in a couple of weeks (I’ll definitely share it here). To be one of the first to listen, you can subscribe to their podcast. Listening to past episodes, I realized the BTR podcast is a goldmine for those seeking help with healing from betrayal trauma.

Today’s episode will provide hope and inspiration to all recovering partners. We talked about some essential topics and I shared how my book Life After Lust is a valuable resource for partners (click here for one partner’s review). I look forward to sharing this historic interview with you all very soon!

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

The Ethics of Sex: Fresno Bee Article & Radio Interview

Fresno Bee Hustler Article (crop)
This week I had two great opportunities to share my professional and personal perspectives on the local radio and newspaper. I’m grateful for these opportunities and and would love to share them with you.

If you’ve read my book Life After Lust, you’re aware that one component of the book is inviting people to stand against the porn-industry as they recover, learning to connect with their values. The following two resources reflect my personal response to Hustler’s move into my city. My hope is that this will inspire others to live in alignment with their highest values, whether standing against the porn-industry or doing other meaningful work in the world.

Check out the following two resources:

The Trevor Carey Radio Show (Note: My participation in this show does not mean I endorse its political views)

The Fresno Bee (in print too) – The ethics of sex: Hefner & Hustler had them half right  (potential photo trigger warning), based on this well-read article which received over 650 views

May these resources encourage you as you recover from life’s hurts and learn to live in alignment with your values. Please share with anyone who would benefit.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!