Recovery is a Lifestyle Change (Video)

Recovery is a lifestyle change. Share if you agree.

 

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

 

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2018: New Year, New Goals (What Are Yours?)

New year

It’s 2018! Can you believe it? With a new year comes new goals…have you made your 2018 goals yet? If so, I would love to hear them. When it comes to Life After Lust, I’ve created some ambitious yet attainable goals. I expect 2018 to be a year of amazing opportunities and growth. I will work hard to create such a year.

If you’re interested, here are my 2018 writing & business goals:

  1. Produce & publish the Life After Lust Audiobook
  2. Disperse all Audiobook Kickstarter rewards
  3. Create Life After Lust online course or program
  4. Write & publish book #2 (A workbook or Life After Lust Volume 2)
  5. VLOG monthly
  6. Life After Lust Retreat or Intensive
  7. Weekly engagement in the Life After Lust Community Facebook Group
  8. Expand distribution of all formats of Life After Lust
  9. At least one paid speaking opportunity per month (check out the Life After Lust Tour!)
  10. Reach 4,000 copies of Life After Lust in circulation (all formats combined)

As I’ve connected more with myself and watched the impact of Life After Lust, I’ve realized that the career I most want to pursue is that of a writer/author (I will still be a therapist). This year, I plan to move more seriously in that direction. I look forward to sharing more with you as that journey unfolds.

Wishing you success with your most important goals this year.
Happy New Year!
Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Surrendering to Structure – Life After Lust VLOG Episode

Surrendering to the Need for Structure in Recovery

About 2 weeks ago I came to two humbling realizations:

1) I was fatter than ever
2) I needed structure in order to take my health seriously

Around that time a friend invited me to join a fitness challenge. I have found this highly structured with high accountability approach to be exactly what I needed and I have thrived as a result.

What about you? Are you naturally self-disciplined or do you need external structure to achieve your goals?

This morning on my walk I shared about this topic in my newest VLOG called Surrendering to the Need for Structure in Recovery. I hope you find this video insightful and encouraging as you strive to achieve those things that mean most to you.

Seeking out structure doesn’t mean we are weak. If anything, it means we understand our needs and are courageous enough to get them met in a ways that strengthen and support us.

May we all find the structure we need to thrive.

Have a great weekend.

Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutubeBlogTwitterFacebookLinkedInInstagramPinterestGoogle+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Give Hope (First Life After Lust Commercial)

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I’m excited to share with you a Life After Lust commercial I created today in hopes of encouraging people to give the gift of hope this Christmas. Can you take 30 seconds to watch it and another 30 seconds to share it with someone?

I continue hearing about how Life After Lust is impacting people and it is my hope that this video helps more people find this life-changing resource.

Gratefully,

Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

Talking to Young Kids About Porn: Resources for Parents

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The topic of protecting children from pornography is very important to me. Anyone who has read my book Life After Lust knows this. Today I had the opportunity to write further about this essential topic in my LifeSTAR article called When to Talk to Your Kids About Porn: It’s Earlier Than You Think.

The following quote answers this question:
“Experts in child abuse prevention and pornography addiction recovery advise parents to begin educating kids about online dangers as soon as they have access to the internet. This includes access from mobile devices owned by friends, family members, teachers, fellow students and babysitters.”
If you are a parent I urge you to invest a few minutes in reading the article. There are great resources available. As parents, we are not helpless against porn.
Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

A Token of My Gratitude: Black Friday Freedom Sale (Life After Lust Audiobook)

Give the Gift of Hope-2

In a spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to offer the following gift to all of you.

For a minimal $10 Kickstarter pledge you will both help us create the Life After Lust Audiobook and reserve YOURSELF a copy ($20 Value)! Offer good through December 15. We are currently 47% funded with 23 days to go. Click here to join this life-changing cause.

Will you invest in the hope of healing this holiday season? Join me in turning this dream into a reality.

Wishing all of my loyal readers a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Gratefully,

Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

How to Know if an Addict is Healing: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Interviews Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP

He Says He's In Recovery, But is it True?-2
Partners of sex addicts are on heart-breaking and hard journey. One of the many challenges they face is seeking emotional safety within their relationship, which is a difficult skill to master. In many cases, an addict will make promises of change (certainly, they usually want to change). But, based on their history of misusing  words, they often create a situation where words mean nothing and action with the right attitude means everything.
In my recent interview with Betrayal Trauma Recovery, I talked about what constitutes good recovery for an addict and what partners can look for as signs of progress. If you’re a partner of a sex or pornography addict, I encourage you to listen to this podcast (here) and seek the help you deserve (See What My Wife is Worth).
Wishing all partners strength, hope, and healing.
Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Can You Help Us? (Life After Lust Audiobook Kickstarter Project)

The Life after lust KICKSTARTER Project is live

Hello,
Will you help us bring the hope of healing to a new audience? Our Kickstarter campaign goal is the conversion of the life-changing book Life After Lust into an audiobook. Kickstarter rewards include an audiobook copy of Life After Lust, a signed paperback book and eBook, tickets to the Life After Lust retreat, and a Google Hangout with the Author & Narrator. Pledges start at just $2. We have 30 days to reach our funding goal.

Will you help us spread the word?

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE KICKSTARTER CAMPAIGN (It’s worth checking out even if you can’t contribute)

Thank you for your support with this meaningful cause.

Forest

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

Book Review: Life After Lust

Book Review_ Life after Lust-2

Life after Lust: Stories & strategies for sex & pornography addiction recovery 

By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP

Reviewed by Darlene Viggiano, Ph.D. (LMFT)

Citation:

Benedict, F. (2017). Life after Lust. CA, Fresno: Visionary Books

ISBN: 0-9984682-1-5

Life after Lust is a self-help, how-to book offering the personal story of a therapist in recovery from sex and pornography addiction, and the strategies he uses to maintain his own sobriety as well as helping others to recover. The book is highly relevant to both recovering and professional readers today due to the current, high profile and widely prevalent issues across the country surrounding porn, infidelity, and sexual intimacy for couples.

Women will be able to use this book, and the language is gender-neutral throughout, including concepts like self-compassion and self-care, such that females will benefit from reading it. However, it does not include women’s perspectives. The book’s strengths and weaknesses include a poignant focus on the attention and care a man must give to himself and his recovery, on the one hand, with insufficient priority to the role of couples’ recovery in this process, on the other.

The book’s primary value, therefore, lies in the systematic help it provides to those who want to gain freedom from lust-bound living on a daily basis. It does not claim to be a couples’ book. However, as a professional with expertise in both sex addiction and trauma, and as a woman who has experienced the effects of male objectification, it would be wonderful to see a companion book that walks the couple through recovery in the same way that this book does so very well for addicts. Fortunately, the book mentions a planned follow-up workbook, called Healing Through Connection, aimed at emphasizing couples’ work.

Benedict’s current thesis is that men can have a fulfilling life, untethered from lust, by developing certain mindsets, mastering particular strategies, and choosing and maintaining a love-based mission, all of which the author demonstrates clearly and succinctly. Perhaps, however, the book is a bit too succinct.  It would be useful to see sample responses to some of the excellent queries the author poses, so that the book does not become a series of hoops through which the recovering person must jump. Overall, though, the author succeeds in demonstrating a strong theme. What follows are examples of how Benedict accomplishes this.

First, Benedict introduces the concept of “prelapse,” warning those in recovery of the dangers of passivity as opposed to vigilance. Second, he delves into the various core beliefs about oneself that hinder a person in recovery. Third, he offers 19 key mindsets a recovering person must develop, as well as a path for building them.

Another strength is that Benedict uses his own journey to light the way for others, a very noble and effective technique. The power of this method is that it forces the author and the reader to deal head-on with the issue of stigma. Benedict uses several worthy metaphors to help himself and readers fight back against stigma, such as “rising from the pit.” Thus, stigma becomes less of an excuse and more of a challenge to face social shame with the honesty that can only arise when addicts have asked themselves, and answered from the soul, the hard questions—such as those about intention to objectify.

The book asks the reader to do a lot of writing, but is not set up as a workbook, which would be a preferred format for this work. It also provides a focus on parts work, such as dealing with the “evil genius” inside the addict. Benedict characterizes this part as the one that uses deceit, euphoric recollection, and malevolent inventiveness or trickery. The author does not spare this inner demon any quarter against inquiry, taking a Socratic method to the task of recovery. He encourages recovering addicts to throw this part “under the bus,” and offers options for meeting needs without meeting defeat.

There is so much more in favor of this book than space will allow.  For example, the book includes a 52-week plan, a significant structural resource for clinicians and clients that makes it useful as part of a recovery curriculum. Suffice it to conclude, however, that Benedict provides a way for addicts to attend to their pain, pollute their fantasies, face reality, and escape from lust to a life repurposed toward love.

 

Posted by Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

Life After Lust Audiobook Announcement & Request for Reward Ideas

LAL Audio

Friends,

I have EXCITING NEWS!

The Life After Lust Audiobook Kickstarter project will begin in about a week! Check out my VLOG Announcement to learn more about the details of this fun project.

Also, I HAVE A REQUEST…I have put together some great rewards for those wishing to contribute to this cause but I really would love to know what rewards you would be interested in. Again, check out the video for further explanation and to learn about some of the awesome rewards that are already planned.

I look forward to sharing this experience with all of you. I also look forward to hearing stories of lives touched and changed as a result of listening to the hopeful message of Life After Lust.

Gratefully,
Forest

PS: To follow this story, I invite you to follow this blog and sign up on the Life After Lust Newsletter

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!