Writing “Life After Lust” – An Interview with Forest Benedict

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Recently, I had the opportunity to do an interview with John Vonhof for the Writers & Authors on Fire podcast. In the interview I talked about my new book Life After Lust and the writing process. I shared some of my story and talked about the “creative risks” I took in writing this unique book. This is an excellent podcast for writers and others who are interested in the topic and book. This podcast is somewhat faith-based but open to all audiences.

Click here to listen to the podcast

 

Enjoy!

Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” me on this blog and on Twitter, “like” me on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

 

EXCITING NEWS! My Book is Now in Paperback!

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EXCITING NEWS! My book Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery is ready in paperback on Amazon! May this resource help and inspire many.

Want to watch the first moment I saw my book? If so, CLICK HERE

Be one of the first to order your copy of this ground-breaking new book that will help many.

Check out the powerful new book trailer based on a chapter of my book by clicking here.

Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” me on this blog and on Twitter, “like” me on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

“Life After Lust” Book Announcement & Newsletter Sign-Up

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As many of you know, I am working on publishing my first book “Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery.” I have been obsessively focused on finishing my manuscript by the end of the year so that I can send it to my endorsers and prepare for publication in the near future. If you are interested in following the progress of my book and receiving other exciting announcements and relevant recovery content, please join my “Life After Lust” Newsletter by clicking here.

Thank you and stay tuned!

Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

“What My Wife is Worth” by Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP-C

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Awhile back Jennifer Lamprey, Organizer of the Women of Value Quickening Conference, asked me to write a piece that supports women. She emphasized the importance of men supporting women, especially when it comes to issues related to pornography. She shared, “I believe more and more women need and want to hear a man supporting what they’re doing.” In her perspective, when husbands use pornography, partners lose their femininity, become afraid of being emotional and vulnerable, see people as dangerous, and lose their connection to their worth. She said, “The Quickening is about women knowing their worth”.

Being a husband who has struggled sexually, I resonate with the importance of this message. I see that my battle with lust effects my wife deeply. My personal recovery journey is an opportunity to reflect back to my wife how worthy and worthwhile she is.

All women need to know that regardless of how others have treated them, nothing can diminish their worth. They will always be worthy of love, belonging, and respect. It is not unreasonable for them to require that those who love them treat them accordingly. May the following piece provide encouragement and empowerment as all women realize and rediscover their infinite worth.

What My Wife Is Worth

My wife is a woman of infinite worth. Because of this, she deserves my best efforts.

She deserves a husband who only has eyes for her.

She deserves a husband in active recovery, not passively going with the flow.

She deserves a husband who reminds her that she is not to blame for his past or present choices.

She deserves a husband who actively opposes visual and mental lust in all forms; viewing it as the enemy of true intimacy.

She deserves a husband who is trustworthy, both when she is looking and when she’s unaware.

She deserves a husband who seeks help when needed, remaining accountable to those who call out his greatness and strength.

She deserves a husband with the courage to face his deepest fears, inadequacies, and wounds for the sake of his healing.

She deserves a husband who learns from his mistakes, creating and communicating new plans for change.

She deserves a husband who is learning how to connect and does the hard work in spite of insecurities and inadequacies in this area.

She deserves a husband who tells the truth about his behavior and is honest when his heart wants to wander.

She deserves a husband who does whatever it takes to change whatever wounds her.

She deserves a husband who takes responsibility for his life, rather than being a victim of circumstances, feelings, or personal history.

She deserves a husband who progresses in personal growth; who is becoming the man he’s  told her he wants to be.

She deserves a husband who is committed to perseverance and course correction; who gets up quickly after failures.

She deserves a husband who cares for himself so that he can offer her more presence and participation in daily life.

She deserves a husband who models faith, purity, passion, and purpose to their children.

She deserves a husband who acknowledges his imperfections yet resists using them as justifications for a small life.

She deserves a husband who fights for her heart.

She deserves a husband who pursues her emotional and physical safety.

She deserves a husband who cherishes her, pursues her, and defends her.

She deserves a husband who humbly responds to her personal boundaries and listens to the pain his choices have caused.

She deserves a husband who remains patient when forgiveness and trust do not come quickly.

She deserves a husband who desires her, cutting off opportunities to seek all counterfeit connections.

She deserves a husband who nurtures her, encourages her to use her gifts, and empowers her to come alive.

She deserves a husband who supports her needs for relationships, relaxation, rest, and rejuvination.

She deserves a husband who serves her, looking for ways to lighten her load.

She deserves a husband who is eager to invest both his time and attention.

She deserves a husband who sees her, knows her, and loves her.

She deserves a husband who reminds his wife every day that her value does not depend on her weight, her style, her sexiness or sexual availability, how she was treated as a child, or any other outside factor.

She deserves a husband who reminds her that she is beautiful and she is enough.

Her worth is innate and cannot be tarnished.

She deserves all of these things because she is a woman of infinite worth.

And so are you.

–By Forest Benedict

To download the PDF for husbands to print and display, click here: What My Wife Is Worth
To download the PDF for wives to print and display, click here What I Am Worth

*Special thanks to blogger Avalon Vic for creating these pdf documents for use

The Women of Value Quickening Conference begins on June 30th! To sign up for this empowering event with a 20% DISCOUNT click here. For additional articles and recovery resources, check of the LifeSTAR blog and Partner Resources page. If this piece touched your heart, I encourage you share it with others.

Please FOLLOW
 my blog and find me on Facebook and Twitter for future posts and announcements about my upcoming BOOK.

Vote for Love, Not Porn (Can you help?)

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PLEASE HELP! After many hours invested, I have finally published the new piece called “Vote for Love”, a challenge to reject the new Hustler store and to stand against porn in our city and in our world. Please SHARE this with others, helping us spread this timely message for the good of our community and our world. THANK YOU!
 

XXXChurch Publishes My Article on the Necessity of Groups

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Today my article entitled “The Paradox of Pornography Addiction: What You Fear Most Will Heal You” was published on the XXXChurch blog. XXXChurch is one of the major players in helping people find healing from pornography addiction and it is an honor to write for them. In the article, I shared from my professional and personal experience why groups are essential for the healing process. I encourage you to read and SHARE this important piece.

*For those in need of help, we at LifeSTAR provide a life-changing healing experience in a group setting. Please contact your nearest LifeSTAR to join one of these powerful groups.

-By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP-C

Please FOLLOW my blog and find me on Facebook and Twitter for future posts and announcements about my UPCOMING BOOK!

12 Porn Free Years: The Secrets of My Success

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Today is a momentous day for me. Today marks 12 years free from pornography use. This is especially significant because it mirrors the 12 previous years I was enslaved to pornography. I look back on these years with gratitude. They were difficult but I’ve grown and learned so much. For the sake of personal reflection and to give back to those who are struggling, I have compiled the top 12 lessons and the top 12 key recovery skills I’ve learned from these 12 years of transformation (in no particular order). Here they are:

Lessons –

  1. Connection is the opposite of addiction
  2. Without going back, I cannot go forward
  3. Successful recovery requires 100% Me and 100% God
  4. Education is empowering
  5. Daily self-care habits are the foundation of recovery
  6. Discomfort and pain are part of the process
  7. Recovery is worth the “sacrifices” of convenience and temporary pleasure
  8. Nobody recovers alone
  9. Love satisfies what lust never will
  10. My recovery is not progressing if I learn to be sober yet self-neglectful
  11. Recovery means learning to trust 
  12. Out of my healing comes my purpose

Essential Skills –

  1. Learning to reach out to others in moments of temptation and emotional turmoil
  2. Learning to connect deeply with God
  3. Learning to connect deeply with others (accountability, romantic partner, friends)
  4. Learning to connect in a group
  5. Learning self-connection
  6. Practicing self-compassion
  7. Habitual self-care
  8. Getting professional help when needed
  9. Practicing play, laughter, fun, and relaxation
  10. Managing shame
  11. Taking full responsibility for my choices
  12. Finding daily inspiration

May those who continue to struggle find direction and hope here. Freedom from sexual addiction is possible.

PLEASE SHARE

-By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP-C

Please FOLLOW my blog and find me on Facebook and Twitter for future posts and announcements about my UPCOMING BOOK!

 

 

Pornography & Me: From Darkness to Light

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It’s not every day that someone recovering from pornography addiction speaks publicly about it. But yesterday I had the privilege of posting one courageous man’s story called “Pornography & Me: A Journey Into the Light“. May those struggling and suffering see the hope woven into this story and seek the help they so desperately deserve.

 

Christian Leader Magazine Publishes Forest’s Digital Adultery Article

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I am excited to announce the publication of my article in the Christian Leader magazine! The article is available online and will be in print form as well. Please pray with me that this article will make a BIG splash in the church, leading those who are suffering to hope and healing. I’d be honored if you shared this article with others and commented on the site as well.

Click here for online article: When Secrets Surface