Angry Birds & Killer Bees: Talking to Your Kids About Sex (Video Interview)

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Talking to kids about sex is an essential, yet difficult task for all parents. What complicates this challenge further is the advancement of technology and the early exposure to pornography that is rampant in our day and age.

Last year I had the privilege of interviewing Dr Todd Bowman, therapist and author of Angry Birds, Killer Bees: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, addressing this timely topic. This valuable interview is now a part of our SATP certification program and I am privileged to share it publicly today for the first time. Whether you are a parent yourself or plan to be, you’ll gain greatly from Dr Bowman’s expertise with this topic. I invite you to share this interview and Dr Bowman’s much-needed book with others (Subscribe here for future videos and vlogs).

Here’s the interview:

Please share with important message with others.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. Please follow Forest on the following platforms: NewsletterYoutube, BlogTwitter, Facebook, LinkedInInstagramPinterest, Google+StumbleUpon, and SHARE this valuable content with others. Thank you!

 

 

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Am I Screwing Up My Kids? (Thoughts from a Parent in Recovery) – VLOG

Am I screwing up my kids?

The more I learn about the origins of sexual addiction, the more I see how factors in childhood play a significant role. This helps me understand myself as a recovering addict but as a parent this responsibility can be frightening. If you’ve ever wondered, like me, what impact your parenting may have on the future of your children, then check out my recent Life After Lust VLOG entitled “Am I Screwing Up My Kids (Thoughts from a Parent in Recovery).”

If you’ve read my book Life After Lust, you’ve seen that learning to parent well is another essential recovery skill. To learn more about the challenge to engage in proactive and intentional parenting check out the powerful video “Dear Porn: A Father’s Letter” (another chapter in Life After Lust).

May we all be empowered to be better parents as we learn from the mistakes of our parents and our own mistakes as well. There is hope for all of us on this journey, no matter how old our children may be.

To subscribe to future Life After Lust VLOGs click here and Life After Lust Newsletters click here.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” me on this blog and on Twitter, “like” me on Facebook, subscribe to my Youtube channel, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

How Paying Attention Protects Our Children from Porn

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In my recent interview with Lisa Shanklin of Educate Empower Kids, we focused on one of the topics emphasized in my book Life After Lust – protecting children from pornography. In the chapter entitled “How Paying Attention Protects Our Children from Porn” and in this interview, I suggested 4 critical ways that parents can pay attention to their children, thereby protecting them from pornography.

Check out the article and the book for more information.

For a powerful video with additional suggestions for parents, click here.

Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” me on this blog and on Twitter, “like” me on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

What I Need from You Right Now: An Appeal to America by a White Father of Black Sons

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This is not as much a political post as a personal piece.

Today is a sad and confusing day for me. I sit stunned by the surprising news that Trump won the Presidential election last night. This news has stirred in me both sadness and anger. I am in protective parent mode. As a white father of black sons, I fear the racist influence that may increase in this country, infecting and emboldening others with hateful, hurtful lies.

Initially, I felt repelled from my friends who voted for a racist President. I was torn by the fact that many who voted for Trump love Christ like I do. As a white father of black sons, I am indignant. Yet, I am also aware of the destructive potential of the emotional cocktail brewing in my heart. If I’m not careful, I will lash out with the same attitudes I renounce. Not attacking violently, but verbally. In spite of this internal battle, I refrain from reacting in revenge, knowing that such responses never build up the kingdom God wants to create through me.

I have some requests though. As a father of black sons, I need a few things from you.

What I need from you right now is….

Understanding, not defensiveness.

Empathy, not fact checking.

Compassion, not condemnation.

What I need from you right now is this: That you would mourn with those who mourn. That you would take a moment to imagine how this political news affects those oppressed by prejudice. That you would step inside the mind of a parent who fears the future maltreatment of their children. My wife and I face such fears, now more than ever. We are not alone in this.

Most of all, what I need from you right now is that, regardless of your political views, you don’t give hatred a foothold in your heart. If our new President incites injustice, stand for what is right. If his rhetoric reinforces racism, resist with love. Regardless of the leanings of our new leader, don’t align with attitudes that demean and divide.

I will work hard not to retaliate against racism in the ways I denounce. I will not let my anger disunite me from others. I will work hard to love all people, even those whose votes may cause my family undeserved suffering. In the words of Martin Luther King, “I have decided to stick with love…Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

-By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP-C

Please FOLLOW my blog and find me on Facebook and Twitter for future posts and announcements about my UPCOMING book

Why & How I Protect My Children from Pornography

dad-909510_1280Recently I was asked recently by Kristen Jenson, author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures, why I fight pornography and how I protect my own kids. Today the article was published on the Porn Proof Kids blog. I hope you find it encouraging and I would be honored if you would share it with others. Here it is:

Therapist & Ex-Porn Addict Rallies Parent to Protect Kids

By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP-C

Turlock Talk Tonight on Protecting Children from Pornography – Live Broadcast & Video

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Tonight I have another great opportunity to present to parents about protecting children from pornography at Crossroads Church in Turlock. For those who do not want to brave the rain or who want to watch from a distance live at 7pm (PST) or by video recording later, here is the link:

Dangerous Access: Protecting Children from the Path of Pornography

Tonight’s presentation is aimed at a Christian audience, from Christian (and science) based perspectives. All adults are invited to watch and the content will benefit all.

I hope to see you there!

-Written by Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

Talking to Teens about Porn – Seminar a Success! (And great video)

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Last night we had the privilege of speaking to local teenagers about pornography and how to protect themselves from it. When I spoke to the guys, I started by asking them about their plans for their lives…college, marriage, career, etc. Then I shared with them the science and research about how pornography addiction can seriously hinder those plans, due to how it harms the brain, relationships, and other areas of life.  I frame it this way because I want teenagers to see down the path of pornography and decide for themselves if its a path they want to take. I also want them to hear a positive message so they can see that this is about more than just avoiding pornography. That is why I name this talk “Healed for a Purpose”, because it is more about the life they can live free from pornography addiction; a life of freedom, choices, connection, and love. Of course, I also equip them with resources on how to get there because living free in a porn-filled world is not easy for teenagers who want to avoid it. Last night I ended our meaningful time together with the following video:

I take these talks seriously and it is my hope and belief that they are making a difference in young lives. It is my hope that all caring adults will do their part to let teenagers know that pornography use can be dangerous and that life without pornography is filled with greater possibilities.

For teenagers caught in addiction to pornography, there is hope. I have have created and lead a program for teenagers called YouthSTAR that is helping young people find freedom in a supportive, safe, accepting, fun, and confidential environment. I am grateful to provide one of many great resources for teenagers and it is my hope that those who are in need will find us. For that reason, I would be honored if you would please share this post with those in your networks.

Thank you.

-Written by Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

Preparing for Your Proud Parent Moment (And Upcoming Central Valley Pornography Protection Seminars for Parents)

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Last week my 6 year-old son was with some friends when they came across nearly nude “art” that was displayed publicly. The experience was followed up with a conversation in the car with their concerned mother, who talked openly with them about what they saw and the need to be careful and look away. My son confidently responded, “Oh, I know. My dad works with that stuff. He taught me that too.” When I heard this story later that day, my heart swelled with pride. We recently started reading Good Pictures, Bad Pictures together and this was a sign that the message was sinking in.

I wonder, are you having similar conversations with your young children?

It is likely that all of our young children will someday be exposed to much worse than nude art. Maybe it will happen on the school bus or at a friend’s house. Are your children ready to defend themselves? If the answer is “no”, I urge you to start educating yourself today.

For all concerned parents, here are some upcoming presentations I am providing for our local community on this important topic:

Parent Seminar – December 2 at North Fresno Church (sanctuary), 6:30-8:00pm – Adults only

Teenagers and Up Seminar – December 9 at North Fresno Church (third floor), 6:30-8:00pm, separate seminars at this time for females and males.

Parent Seminar – January 5, Crossroads Church in Turlock (more info to come).

It is my hope that someday you too will have your proud parent moment, when your heart is reassured that your children are prepared for their inevitable exposure to pornography.

For announcements of future seminars and resources, please follow our blog.

-Written by Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LMFT, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

Reclaiming Hope: Overcoming the Challenges of Parenting Foster and Adopted Children

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My friend and fellow writer Marcy Pusey has just published a new book! For two days the Kindle edition is available for free. Check out this great resource and please share it with others.

I just got mine and look forward to gleaning from Marcy’s wisdom.

Check out the book here: Reclaiming Hope: Overcoming the Challenges of Parenting Foster and Adopted Children