There was a time when religion and dysfunctional relationships taught me that I had to participate in my own harm just to avoid abandonment or punishment. I learned that love meant self-betrayal, that belonging required shrinking, silencing, and sacrificing myself.
But healing has revealed a different truth:
Anything that harms me is not for me.
Any relationship that needs me to wound myself to sustain it is not love.
Any system that demands my compliance at the cost of my soul is not sacred.
Today, I withdraw my consent.
I would rather walk alone in self-love than stay connected through self-erasure.
I choose relationships where I don’t have to bleed to belong.
I choose myself now.
This is not just a boundary—it’s a reclamation.
And if you notice parts of you that still agree to harmful dynamics…parts that still believe you must comply to stay loved…or parts that fear losing connection if you are authentic—I invite you to meet them with compassion and curiosity. These parts aren’t wrong; they are doing their very best to protect you.
With tenderness and presence, you can get to know them.
You can help them release old contracts.
You can discover how much freedom becomes possible when every part of you is welcomed home.
And if you feel called to do this deeper IFS work with a guide, I’m here. As a Certified IFS Therapist who has walked this path personally and professionally, I know exactly how to help you navigate these inner relationships with skill, safety, and profound respect. I know how powerful and life-changing this process can be.
If you’re ready to explore what healing and self-liberation can look like for you, I would be honored to walk alongside you.
In empowering support,
Forest Benedict, LMFT
Certified IFS Therapist, Sex & Desire Coach
For more articles on self-connection, codependency, religious trauma, CPTSD, IFS, connection, healing, and beyond, I invite you to check out my blog and follow for future posts here.
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