A Poem of Pain

Writing is God’s gift to me. It has proven to be a tool through which I have found meaning. Wielding words, I have processed pain and calmed chaos within. This poem I wrote in 2008 reveals this very experience. In a raw and revealing fashion, it wraps words around writhing loneliness and hurt. It subtly speaks volumes. It is real. I thank God for the great gift of writing that blesses my soul. May others forage meaning here too.

The Path of Pain

Peering through the underbrush

The bushes moist with dew

My eyes review a lonesome camp

And note the solitude

“Papa, are you down there?”

My quivering question looms

I walk down the buried path

His death my heart assumes

Strewn across a clearing’s floor

The shrapnel of dad’s disease

Can a hundred Buds so satisfy

Or only the first drink?

Silence is a peeler

Against my soul’s soft skin

Seconds slide, I bleed the pain

That seeps from missing him

Hope evolves to anger

Questions maul my mind

Branded by my loathing love

By which I am defined.

(Forest Benedict, 2008)

*Note: The story did not end here. Read “Prayer of a Fatherless Father” to learn more about the healing journey.

*If this post touched you, please share it with others and consider “following” my blog.

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6 thoughts on “A Poem of Pain

  1. Blogs only allow the verb “like” – but I am not sure that is the right verb. I appreciate how you go to those places where men (and women) can hardly articulate what is going on with them (us) – “branded by loathing love” – where “hope evolves to anger” – is not the intuitive way to understand loss and one’s own adaptation (mutation) to define themselves. Your poem-prayer reminds me that so much of healing is the restoring of God’s definition of us. Thanks for sharing this raw ore of your soul.

    Like

    1. Rusty, I really appreciate your comment. And I know that in the past I have defined myself by my pain but am recovering from that too. Thankfully, my identity is rooted in a much more Secure place.

      Like

  2. Pingback: My Path Out of Porn Addiction: A Therapist’s Journey | LifeSTAR Central Valley Blog

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  4. Nancy Willey

    This is heartwrenching, Forest, but yes, encouraging, too. I am aching for my two grandsons who are living this experience I did watch the video and prayer linked to this and hope to share them with the boys and that they will know they are not their dad’s choices. Thanks.

    Like

    1. Nancy, thank you for sharing how this poem touched you. I agree, it is heart-wrenching. I’m sorry to hear about the situation your grandsons are in. I’m so glad you looked at the article “Prayer of a Fatherless Father” and the accompanying video. There is comfort in the pain.

      Like

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